I watched the episode today. (And then I went back to my sewing because that coat really needs to get ready because it’s getting cold outside, and I’m slow and the details take a long time to get right.)
I didn’t even start to write a reaction post. (Mostly because I didn’t know what to say. Because most of Glee only makes sense to me when I talk about it. Without fandom interaction, I just get stuck on “huh? what was THAT?” and then I eventually get distracted by something else.)
I haven’t even looked at my dash in almost two days. (As I said, I was sewing. And I don’t feel too great about Tumblr right now because the Glee part of my dash seems to consist entirely of either sp0ilers (that I block) or wank/wank reaction posts (that make me feel bad) or long text posts (that I don’t have the time/brains to engage with). I also started watching Scandal because of that video that went round a few days ago. And while I’m sure that show also has a lot of layers that I might see if I started thinking/talking about it, it’s a whole lot easier to just watch the stories and be done. Even if bits of the stories linger while I fiddle with pieces of fabric. Even if the drama has already pulled me in. But I have no urge to join any fandom there or do any analysis of the visual style of this show, or write any meta about the significance of “one minute” or - gods forbid - look for any kind of Scandal fanfiction. I am unable to watch Glee that way.)
So, it seems like Glee doesn’t work for me without talking about it with fandom. And I don’t have time for fandom right now. So I don’t know how to do Glee at the moment. And in three weeks my school/training is finally over (and I would have time/brains to get back to fandom stuff) but in three weeks Glee is also over for several months. And pretty much everyone does seem to feel apprehensive about that hiatus, so I’m not exactly expecting it to be the most pleasurable time to be in fandom.
I’m sorry I’m missing out on everything, and I’m sorry that Glee doesn’t work as a solo activity for me. I miss talking with the meta gang, and I miss writing anything that isn’t yet another update about how I can’t write right now. I basically miss feeling like an active part of fandom!
Well. I made the choice to do that training, so this is my life right now. I don’t regret the choice, but its side effects still sometimes SUCK.